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• (713): View more from Texas

  this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy

  (1-713): View more from Texas

  well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?

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• (212): View more from New York

  1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.

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• (661): View more from California

  u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Who put my cat in the fridge?

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze

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