Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
