I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
