so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
