Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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