this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
