I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
