I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
