I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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