Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
FUCK WHALES
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
