I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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