I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
