Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
