I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
