You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
