Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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