so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And then he peed in my hair
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