Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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