I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
