Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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