You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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