sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
