I've blown a few things in my day
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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