okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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