he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
