I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
