sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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