She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
