nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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