do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There's always time for handjobs
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize