I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the condom got lost in my hair
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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