I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
