i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
