It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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