so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
