there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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