She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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