I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
