I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
