I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
