yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
