she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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