I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
