God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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