well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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