Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize