awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
