Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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