I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
