I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
