Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
