it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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