She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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