All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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