can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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