Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
